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During a training session recently with several senior leaders, I noticed how easily they talked themselves in circles and subsequently got frustrated with each other.
The conversation went off the rails not because they didn’t have good intentions or lacked smarts.
What I observed was their minds switched from one idea to another so fast they could hardly keep up with themselves let alone each other.
Each skill I suggested opened several competing threads of conversation.
The conversation with the leaders had no defined scope or set boundaries.
I needed to stop and help setup a ‘Frame’ for the conversation. To narrow the focus and reduce the leaders from becoming frustrated and overwhelmed.
You might think of a frame like a computer folder. It has a descriptive name and contains only relevant content. This makes it easier to know what is relevant or what belongs in this particular conversation.
The concept of “Framing”
This concept is very powerful for the individual. The person who sets up the context, sets the boundaries and will therefore have more control over the conversation.
If someone strays outside the agreed boundaries, they can respectfully pull them back into the previously agreed narrower conversational context.
Before a meeting starts, you could decide which frame would suit the conversation best. Here are the frames you can choose from:
An ‘Outcome Frame’ states early what the desired outcome should be. Everyone within the meeting then works towards that specific outcome.
An ‘Open Frame’ is quite the opposite. Anything can be discussed. You are prepared and more open to broader discussion within the meeting.
A 'Relevancy Frame' can be set to keep the conversation to a specific topic. It will help reduce the time invested in the meeting.
If you need to be very creative, you can use an ‘As If Frame’ where you say something like “just imagine X was true”. The goal is tohave a communication within this imagined frame.
What I noticed with this particular team was each time an idea conflicted at all with their original thinking, individuals would hammer their own point of view and shut off from other leader’s distinctions.
They all loved the new skills I was teaching them but had diverse ideas on how they could be implemented.
The leaders were too invested in their idea being the best and most likely to work. I suggested they stop and explained how they could use a 'Discovery Frame' to explore several options without judging each other's ideas for merit too early.
The ‘Discovery Frame’ is an attitude in which you suspend your expectations, judgement/s and attachment to a particular outcome in approaching a task or conversation. You open your mind, put your best ideas out there or complete a set of tasks to the best of your ability. You aim simply to notice what happens and what you learn from it. You can then use an ‘Outcome Frame’ or ‘Relevancy Frame’ to narrow down the best ideas.
The benefits of the ‘Discovery Frame’ are that you are encouraged not to prejudge or become disappointed by the conversation’s exploratory nature. When done well, you can notice whatever happens more clearly, and you are more flexible to learning or discovering something new.
For example, it's useful to apply the ‘Discovery Frame’ when you're learning any new skill. This could be a sport, hobby, software package or sales technique. Too often people get caught up in judging how well they are doing or how their idea is different to others.
The most important benefit of the ‘Discovery Frame’ that it reminds you to stay fully present in the conversation or practice session. It is important that you notice your own thoughts, feelings/ responses, and the responses of others to your thoughts during the conversation or activity.
Let’s expand this to inhouse sales conferences, how much talking goes on at this? Wouldn’t it be great to have someone who knows how to facilitate the discussions, create frameworks and ensure the conference flows? After all - you want it to be the best experience because the outcomes were great and actionable.
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